It wasn't long after I unpacked my things that I realized the style of parenting is drastically different here. Children cry into the night, only feet away from their sleeping parents. The parents yell and hit their children. Two-year-olds play with machetes. Eight-year-olds take care of the three-year-olds while their parents are in the finca. Madness, right?
What has initially been disturbing is starting to make more sense. So it goes. I came with all my ideas about what is right and wrong only to have them broken down, reconstructed. Life is hard here. Most days involve carrying heavy things long distances, whether that's firewood or food from the finca. Perhaps the lack of coddling is part of a necessary hardening. Young girls taking care of their even younger siblings makes a certain sense as well. Most girls have their first child in their teens (there is no career track out here) because that's when it biologically makes sense. If you do the math, you need to start learning how to be a mother pretty early on in life.
It's all too easy to judge those that are different. In a world of piano lessons and ballerina classes, we can be a bit softer. Our lives, while hectic, are cushy. We've traded in the manual labor for schedulers and post-it reminders stuck to the bathroom mirror. Furthermore, we have cultural cues that change over time guiding us as to how we should be parents. It wasn't long ago that corporal punishment was OK in our schools (and still is in some places). Now there is more of a cultural shift away from that style of parenting. And while I don't condone leaving young children alone in the house for hours on end, it makes more sense in the context of a community of eyes watching those children.
In other words, I don't know if I'm necessarily witnessing bad parenting. Everyone grows up able to function in their world. Our world needs a different set of skills and social norms, so the parenting style adjusts accordingly. At the end of the day, what seems like madness begins to make more sense.
Author's Note: Despite the blog entry, the author fully intends on buying Baby Einstein tapes and wrapping his future child(ren) in organic cotton blankets
